The Glamorous Life

2002-05-03T11:46:00.000-05:00

adolph, eric, and i decided on the un-airconditioned 1200 sq ft. space. it's so cool i could kick myself. three of us loved it and katy backed out. se la vi...

another day with hardly a thing in the world to do. i'm trying to stretch it till 4:30.

2002-05-01T15:56:00.000-05:00

eric and katy seem to be interested in the studio space along with adolph and i, which brings the price down a little for all of us. that's nice. we're supposed to meet out at the place this evening and check it out. hopefully, we will all be in agreement as to the desirability of the place. i would hate for one of us to hate it, but three of us to love it.

a lot of good is coming soon. i'm getting a fat paycheck from kimberly tonight, and then another one from ken childress and then another from the ms society; and, of course, one can't forget payday. also, all my friends are coming over for beer tonight.

and it's at times like this that i wish eveyone had the love for hot dogs that i have. they're so easy to make, eat, and they're sooooooooo good (almost as good as chocolate milk.)

....you see? these are the kinds of self-discoveries that you make when you write (even this poorly). i would have never even realized it (in a self-realizing sort of way) that i LOVE chocolate milk and hot dogs. i wonder if my baby will love these two things too? i mean, even if i never gave him either as he/she grows up.

i wonder if one day in college he/she will eat hot dogs and chocolate milk after a breakup? or after having a hot dog at a backyard bbq think to him/herself, "...hmmm, i could really go for a glass of chocolate milk."

2002-04-29T14:19:00.000-05:00

carol can feel the baby from the outside now. everytime she feels the baby kick she yells for me, but when i place my hand on her belly, it stops kicking. so i haven't really felt it yet.

she called me from work just about half an hour ago and swears that she felt the baby from the outside. we have another doctor visit soon for another ultrasound and the results of the blood test.

i published this post yesterday, but it never appeared...what's up with this crap????!!!!!

2002-04-29T11:30:00.000-05:00

i put off doing anything for kimberly until sunday afternoon, only to have her dump 12 more rolls into my lap. not a big deal, really.

adolph and i drove around north main saturday afternoon and took some photos; not very good ones, but photos nonetheless. i shot two rolls of agfa apx 100 and processed it with rodinal 1:50. still not sure about the results, i didn't have time to print any of the negs; athough, i can say for sure that i need a very small graduated cylinder (sp?) for that dilution. i'll post some results in the next couple of days.

on our route, we also came across some available studio space. as we were taking down the number a guy who stays there offered to show us around the place. there were several spaces; all from 500 to over 1000 sq ft.

a round about figure was around 1$ per sq ft. do-able if i can get four or five people to go in for a 1000 sq.ft. place.

2002-04-26T13:46:00.000-05:00

ok, so even though my week has been pretty boring, i at least finished reading all the pretty horses

i've got film at kimberly's to process and contact and i have a date with my wife to buy baby furniture and pretty up the apartment this weekend: crib, curtains over the venetian blinds, and a slip cover for the comforter.

i bought myself twenty rolls of agfa apx 100 for my bronica. i think i'm gonna take it out to the trainyard up north main sunday afternoon and try to make some images that i've had in my head since adolph and i visited it last year.

the consensus online seems to be that rodinal is a great developer for this film, but i have yet to try it.

i yawn so hard that i tear.

i made this image with the d1x i rented. i shot it for a garden writer i went to school with who lives in new york now. hopefully, we'll see this one published somewhere soon.

2002-04-25T11:22:00.000-05:00

i love chocolate milk soooooooooo much. i don't think that i could live well without it. i heard a report on the radio (on npr no doubt) that said that people who drink more dairy are less prone to obesity; although, they aren't too clear on the *why's* of that.

my office mate tells me that milk isn't very popular in china. she said that milk is delivered to your door there in a 16 oz. bottle (roughly). i drink 16 oz of chocolate milk in about 30 seconds.

is this bad for me even though i won't become fat?

2002-04-23T08:16:00.000-05:00

whenever i return the d1x i have the incredible pleasure of ripping up the fifteen hundred dollar check i leave as deposit.....

2002-04-22T14:24:00.000-05:00

today i am so tired i could sleep standing up

2002-04-22T13:59:00.000-05:00

i tried to call holly. she never answered.

i called todd and he said to call him later.

i had to pee so bad after i left the baseball stadium. oh gosh...

i was near holly's place so i stopped by: her car was gone. i drove to her studio like a bat out of hell. her car wasn't there either.

so i ended up at a restaurant that my wife used to work at when we had first moved in together: jovitas on south first in austin.

eventually, todd joined me, but only after i had eaten and made it all the way to the classifieds in the austin chronicle.

we opened the power book and and i showed him the images i had done in the last two days. he like them, but was more impressed with the camera.

holly called. she was at flipnotics. we joined her there.

when i drove up she had her hands on her head and was rubbing her hair and eyes.

"i'm fragile today" she said almost crying. todd came from around the corner and perhaps it was my imagination that she dropped almost all her disturbed look...

we had coffee together. and talked till four.

then i drove back to houston for the greatest shower of my life and a cuddling from my most beautiful wife.

2002-04-22T13:49:00.000-05:00

"we've got 20,000 pancakes ready to serve!!!!"

this is the first sentence i heard at 5 a.m. sunday morning. it came booming over the p.a. system there at the park.

adolph was still asleep. i nudged him awake....

"dolf...they just gave the pancake announcement," i said sleepily.

his torso rose and as it did so the air escaping him sounded like, "i've got to get up...."

he fumbled around in the dark until i turned on the lantern.

i was sticky. i smelled like a wet carpet. the breeze had no temperature. when i stepped out of the tent it went through me rather than over and around me; i stood there for a bit and stared at the sky. it wouldn't be until somewhere around 8 that the sun would break through the blue-black clouds that we above me.

adolph got back to work. i cleaned up and quickly packed the tent and the car.

i found a hydration station and took a gallon of water that i drank while standing in line for my share of the 20,000 pancakes.

instead of waiting at the start line, i pulled the beetle out of the park and drove down the road about three miles till i found a spot i could shoot from.

i waited.

there were already a lot of riders on the road. a lot of them had jumped the gun and started before the 7 a.m. start time.

this caused traffic headaches.

i shot several different places and at a couple of checkpoints. after that, i headed straight to the finish line in austin.

i shot as the riders trickled in until around noon. then, i left. it had had enough.

2002-04-22T13:29:00.000-05:00

i woke up later than i wanted to. i got to the starting and realized that i had forgotten to buy batteries. luckily, there was a small convenience store open so early in the morning.

eight AA batteries...

i wasn't moving very quickly. i hadn't eaten. i got up, repacked all the equipment into dolph's beetle and split as quickly as i could.

i snapped a few photos at the line, watching to get in important banners and 'names' (this thing is chock full o' corporate sponsorship)...

the riders are let loose by the 500-700's. unleashing 10,000 bikers at one time onto a two lane road would be murder, so it really isn't all THAT spectacular (say, the way 10,000 boston marathoners breaking from the start line looks.)

once all the big teams were let loose, taggart and i jumped in the car and began to ride the route.

we stopped at mcdonalds with but the tiniest thoughts to the rainforests, and ate very well.

since i had driven the route the previous weekend i had a pretty good idea of where i wanted to stop and shoot from, so we did just that.

we drove from corner to corner, from picturesque road to road.

near 5 we were in LaGrange, TX where the halfway point and campsite for the evening was. we parked, set up the tent in less than ten minutes, found some water, and ate a bbq chicken dinner.

i walked around the campsite and shot some got some nice shots of riders coming in the 'finish' line, a couple of flags, a line of bike tires in the bike compound...

later, taggart, adolph and i hopped the corporate tents for beer.

taggart left for houston, leaving me to shoot the second leg of the ride myself.

2002-04-22T12:59:00.000-05:00

my gosh, it worked!!!

so this means that whoever is watching will be able to see a pretty good selection of photos that i did for the ms150 this weekend. i'll post them within the next couple of days.

anyway.....this weekend over ten thousand riders rode from houston's tully stadium off dairy ashford to the UT baseball field on the east side of 35. if you've been following me, you know that i shot the entire event digitally with a nikon d1x. it worked beautifully and i've got the pictures to prove it.

2002-04-22T12:55:00.000-05:00

this is just a test that probably won't work.

crossing fingers.....

2002-04-19T16:06:00.000-05:00

i'm just going to leave. this is rediculous.

2002-04-19T15:28:00.000-05:00

boring day at work. this weekend, the ms150.

i'm excited, but nervous, as i am before every shoot. it's this bubble that wells up inside of me and tickles my insides before i do something really wonderful. i'm picking up the camera and a 14mm lens tonight. i've already got my hands on the 80-200. so i go away this weekend with this:

d1x
n80
14mm
24mm
50mm
105mm
80-200mm
vivitar 285hv flash
batteries
three close up filters (+1, +2, +4)
bogen monopod
bogen tripod
ibook
cd burner
memory card reader
60gig hard drive

so nervous.

2002-04-16T16:18:00.000-05:00

i had a day sprinkled with work, but overall very boring. like a cake donut; it's a donut, but not quite.

update: killy had pizza for lunch two days in a row and hates himself.
working out: yesterday was legs, lower back
carol: as of tomorrow we are five months. she is having trouble sleeping, but is still unbelievably cute.
photography: the ms150 is this weekend. i'm shooting it completely digitally with a nikon d1x, an ibook, and an 80-200. in two weeks i'm joining holly for a fashion shoot in austin.
kimberly: she was supposed to have shot this weekend, but i haven't heard from her. if i get some film out of her, maybe i can afford my own telephoto lens.
holly: she feels better, thankfully. she hates asparagus.

2002-04-09T15:57:00.000-05:00

i drove to austin friday night at about 60mph 'cause i was nearly convinced that a freeze plug would blow or my engine would just start spewing radiator fluid.

i got there around 10:45. after being worried for a week about the things she had told me i was a little worried about what i would do and say when i saw her. she was ready to go out when i got there complete with heels and jeans. (i had never seen her in heels before) it was just then that i realized that i was wearing tennis shoes and jeans. damn....

but, hey. we were in austin.

we had a couple of vodkas at Club DeVille in austin and then a beer at another place down the street from it. i don't remember the name. we talked most of the night about this and that; what was bothering her mostly. i just listened from beneath a glass of vodka.

we didn't leave until they forced us to. 2:00 a.m. I drove us back to her home really slow. we stayed up a little longer until she was too tired.

the next morning i had a headache, (i knew i should have had some water) but luckily i was able to have my favorite breakfast in austin: huevos motulenos @ el sol y la luna on congress; along with a cup of coffee, two glasses of water and a glass of cranberry juice.

mmmmmmmm......over breakfast i had to ask her how we met. i couldn't remember. it ends up that i was the lab instructor for the one(?) class that she took through the tech department. she said i was nice to her.

we ate with another friend of hers that had come in from dallas. we ended up at the studio after breakfast rifling through her things. i fixed her imac.

we dropped off her friend at her sister's house and ended up at Dolce for a soy cappucinno. she's vegetarian, so i made it a point to ask for a cappucinno with milk; a reflex that i developed after hanging out with meagan for so long. she would give me a hard time for not being vegetarian that i became a loud consumer of animal stuffs; at least, when she was around.

once we were done with that we packed up our cameras and ended up in a field. i don't have the images yet, but you'll see them soon.

then, lunch @ hyde pack grill. todd and diana showed up. then they left and so did we.

we hugged and i left. i drove home just as slow as i had driven before.

2002-04-03T10:20:00.000-06:00

i really can't remember specifically when i met holly. we were both photography students; she through the art department, and i through the technology dept...

our approaches were wildly different, but i loved her work. everything she did was gold to me. i loved the grace a sensitivity that came across in each and every photo or snapshot she made.

i, on the other hand was more calculating in my approach; i learned the zone system; i printed with two developers to get the tones just right; my composition was (and still is) very rigid (i think). i get bored with my work. i am never satisfied.

i had never met holly. on campus there was a deep divide between the art dept and the tech dept, fueled by the intense mutual distrust and dislike of the professors Dr. Borchers (the education phd who got the job as tech photo prof in the early seventies without a portfolio) and Eric Weller (the art teacher who A'd anything that was nude.)

eventually we met, again, i can't remember how, and we both learned that each of us were infatuated with each other's work. imagine my surprise. we talked a lot, but it was always about photography; it has never really gone beyond that.

everyone loves holly, but she is intimidating; not in a psycho wide-eyed way, or a she's so beautiful i can't even swallow my drool quick enough to talk, or in an ultra-intellectual way...

sometimes i think that she can see past things that others can't. and she HAS to be able to. i've been looking at what she sees for a while, and i know that is the case. eventually, i am going to get some photos of hers so you can see what i'm talking about.

she's been working a lot lately. she's gotten really sick, but didn't reveal many of the details to me. she works herself to the bone, which is just another reason that i admire her sooo much. i am a lazy bone.

i called her monday night after i had talked with angie. i sat at my small kitchen table and listened to her. she sounded terrible, defeated. i had never heard her that way before. she started to cry. i made a mental note to travel to austin this weekend. i called her on my land line, so i had no record of time, but it wasn't nearly as long as the phone call to angie; although, it was far more intense.

i called her again last night before i headed to kimberly's to finish up her film. she had taken some herbal drugs her 'doctor' had given her. she sounded much better, if only temporarily.

2002-04-02T12:59:00.000-06:00

i will only say that my head is spinning from the d1x.

april fools day is probably the worst day, cause if something truly bad happens to you no one believes you until you burst out into tears which is exactly what happened TWICE yesterday. earlier in the day i had received two ominous emails from different friends. the first, won't discuss what happened 'cause she didn't want to cry at work. the other, read: "dying. h."

i got home and borrowed my neighbors car to return the nikon to HPI. then, carol got home and was weak from hunger. the house was a complete and utter mess (i could have sworn that i cleaned it just the other day, too) so we ate out and took photos in a photo booth. i dropped her home and zipped off to kimberly's where i had twenty-six rolls of film to process.

i only got sixteen done before the internal clock i had set for myself was ringing. it was ten thirty. i called angie, the first email. she had been crying for the last four days and even managed to squeeze out some tears somewhere in our 76 m 10 sec conversation (ahh, cell phones and their minute by minute counters.....)

she had gone to london with her sig other who told her that he was aprehensive about losing his bachelor-hood once she moved in with him this upcoming june. he would be 'out-of-the-game' so to speak. and being the deeply religious and sensitive person she is, it broke her in half that he would even have this thought.

76 min. and 10 sec of, "...do guys really want to be with other women when they are with a woman already?".....

duh....

the second email was a little more troubling. i had left the darkroom and was home by the time this started, but this one is for a blog all its own.

2002-03-27T08:51:00.000-06:00

i reserved the nikon d1x from my local photolab for the weekend. i've been toying with the idea of shooting the ms150 digital for awhile and have even considered shooting some commercial work digitally. so this weekend is already jam packed with experiments: studio shots, outdoor in sun and in shade, indoor, nighttime.....all that i can think of.

it's a good thing that carol is going to chicago to visit her mom for the weekend. i can concentrate on just one thing.

thursday, fugazi is coming to the 'international ballroom' (maybe i should give Wes) a call. friday, charlie and margaret want to take me to an Astros game at what used to be called Enron field. oh, what a weekend planned.

2002-03-18T16:18:00.000-06:00

what a fun weekend i had; i know that 'cause i can hardly remember friday.

k.

2002-03-14T11:19:00.000-06:00

my thursday just turned into a friday because three doctors called in sick and no one is available to read films for todays noon conference. so now i get to work on two posters that came in on each other's back for the same doctor; i've already finished and printed on for edit. one on stents and their method of delivery and the other i haven't even looked at yet.

carol and i are making significant headway in the clearing out debt now that we are both working. it doesn't really help that we are having a baby in the next five and a half months, but it certainly is motivational.

2002-03-11T09:09:00.000-06:00

a monday at work is much like a friday. conferences are only on tuesdays and thursdays and we have no orders for posters as of yet; at least not any for me. kelly has one on his desk and i am bored out of my brain. time for music.....

what kind of name is kelly for a guy anyway? but i won't dwell on that so much cause he's my boss. on a related note, i met a doctor at conference the other day whose first name is beverly...

the weekend was pretty relaxed; i can hardly remember what we did. we took the car to brake check to get it looked at early saturday morning. then we hopped in the car with taggart and headed to clear lake and investigated a tip we got about a lady that makes furniture. then, back home and then eventually to sugar land to visit my mother who was alone for the evening. i discoverd a crescent city bignets (i know i spelled that wrong) on her side of town.

sunday we woke up and had waffles and then off to celebration station for my nephews five year bday party. NEVER GO THERE. we played skiball once before it broke (three of them of five were broken after i put my money into it.) we plugged into a video game only to discover that the joysticks were stuck. the batting cages were not manned so were consistantly running out of balls.....

once we got home i left for kimberly's and came back just in time for the star wars trailer and this weeks xfiles episode. adolph, taggart, and diana came over. adolph, taggart, and i ended up at rudyards after the news for a beer and a game of darts. then sleep...

2002-03-08T15:49:00.000-06:00

i guess a quick update on the past events is also in order.

kimberly's assistant was fired for allegedly charging thousands of dollars on her credit card. i don't have the time to shoot for health and fitness magazine. i'm not poor anymore. carol will be fourteen weeks pregnant next wednesday. luckily she got over her nausea and general malaise at the twelfth week. she is now feeling back to normal, but she can't fit into her clothes anymore.

adolph is gearing up for the ms150 in april; taggart is busy being a newlywed; diana is quitting her job and moving to austin to be with todd in the middle of march; kris, the next door neighbor, is active duty coast guard and daddy; kerri, the next door neighbor's wife, has sucked liz, taggart's wife, into playing rugby with her team; carol is getting more and more pregnant and eating like it; and killy is planning how to spend his next three paychecks now that he's paid off his car.

2002-03-08T15:16:00.000-06:00

i had almost forgotten that i had a blog.

in a really weird twist of events, i am working at m.d. anderson cancer center....

it was before i had decided that i was going to quit Adtech and be a photographer. i was job searching online for something, anything, to get me away from that awful place. i came across the md anderson job postings and found a position that i was reasonably qualified for and sent in my resume.

the click of my mouse submiting my resume echoed for six months.

i was at home late january (right after my previous blog) having breakfast when the phone rang. the voice on the other end couldn't say my name right, "...is al...af....a-doll-foe cha-vez there?" i almost replied with a curt "sorry...i'm not interested, thank you...." a la telemarketer avoidance strategy, but instead, said, "yes, this is he...."

and so i was called in for an interview. it took everything in me not to be excited.

a little over month later, i am a imaging specialist in diagnostic radiology. needless to say i feel a lot better about things.

2002-01-24T21:18:00.000-06:00

i have set new standards in doing nothing. it is amazing even to myself. i have watched inanimate objects, in hopes that they would move themselves, stay perfectly still for days on end now.

my camera is perched on my tripod staring at inanimate things too. they don't move either. i feel that i am just the worst person. i don't even know where to begin with most things.

it's not that i really have nothing to do either. i have plenty of paperwork that needs to be filled out; i have things that must be scanned and printed; i have things to turn in to have printed; i have things in my head that need to get on film; i've got a class proposal to put together; i have a school to volunteer at; i have museums to visit; i have transcripts to order; i have classes to sign up for;

i have a lot to do -- but i can stare into the fabric of space for hours. i can get caught in the act of doing absolutely nothing -- like i said, it's really incredible.

and so i am depressed beyond belief, really. Dutch called me today and told me that Dr. Capriotti loved the photos i took and the layout of the ad they made for him. honestly, i thought that the photos were complete shit. this round was probably the worst looking photos. i am not looking forward to this issue.

i shot plastic surgeons this month. all they wanted were group shots. i didn't put much of 'myself' in them although i really wish that i had the time to have done it.

conceiveably i could call them to reschedule a 'real' portrait session more in line with my style.

and this is the problem right here. i will come up with these really fantastic ideas. or maybe not even so fantastic, but just some ideas that have real potential --- but i'll never do them.

how many people do the same thing? is anybody reading this? do you do this? am i really fucked up?

2002-01-11T22:13:00.000-06:00

This month is the plastic surgeon issue, whatever that means. I'm being sent to photograph the doctors and their staff (for their ads, no doubt)

the larger issue, however, is exactly WHAT am i going to advertise in my ad. i mean, is declaring on paper that i am a photographer to help me? is there something that i should include in the ad besides my number and a telling photograph? should it say:

KILLY photography -- STUDIO, COMMERCIAL, PORTRAIT.

to a large extent most of that is pretty misleading: i don't have a studio, but if i had one i could use it well. I haven't done any commercial work as of yet, and my portraits aren't exactly bryn alan.

so then, WHAT?

that is the question of the hour....

any suggestions? Take a look at my site and tell me what you think.

2002-01-03T22:16:00.000-06:00

so now i find myself looking up cribs online. so many mysteries: why do i have to make sure that i can't have more than two finger width distance between the mattress and the crib itself? i guess if i was a kid stuck in a crib i would put my fingers in all sorts of places too.

it wasn't too long ago that i put my finger into the hole that the straw is supposed to go into on a fountain soda lid. then, i pulled it out --- hard. i wasn't thinking. or maybe i was. maybe i just thought i had to do this; kinda like sticking your tongue on a cold, dry ice cube just to see what the stupid kid in school felt.

2002-01-03T09:43:00.000-06:00

last night carol and i discovered that we were pregnant. We had been trying since the middle of December (right before Taggart's wedding) and figured that we would find out sometime after xmas. carol's period never showed up, so her sister brought back a pregnancy test from a doctor visit. while carol ran to the bathroom to take the test i sat on the couch and read exactly what it is about urine that makes it such a reliable indicator of pregnancy. Carol came out of the bathroom with her face stretched in a smile and her eyes red and wet. We just hugged each other and started calling everyone we knew: the mother's first and at the same time; taggart; adolph (who wasn't home); angie (again, absent); colin and laura; lorraine; margaret.

while carol was on the phone, i ran to the fridge and yanked out three beers and put on my jacket. once carol got off the phone we went next door to kerri and kris' place and gave them the news. we drank (carol excluded) and smiled a lot.

we are pregnant. my legs were wobbly all night. i don't think i've ever felt like this before.

more to come.....

2001-12-17T22:30:00.000-06:00

i wonder if this works?

2001-12-17T22:26:00.000-06:00

While taggart is one his honeymoon, i am working at Adtech in his place. It wasn't nearly as busy as I had expected it to be. I think a lot of it was done on Friday.

I didn't eat lunch (ten hours straight) so carol and i went to Empire immediately after work -- chicken with asparagus -- and chocolate mousse cake....mmmmm.

i hate printing bad photography for other people. i got a few rolls of taggarts wedding back today. i owe dennis a six pack of beer.

the layout for the jan. issue of health and fitness is done. can't wait to see my debut issue....

2001-12-13T20:54:00.000-06:00

i was supposed to shoot a doctor's office today, but they cancelled for one reason or another. i was actually excited about this one too. the body rock shots turned out great so i hear. i have yet to see any of this 'fabulous' work i'm turning out for them. i have to make a trip down to the office to take a look at these. the way terrance and others have been 'raving' about my work leads me to believe that they aren't too picky.

it's been raining cats and dogs for the last two days here. it's started to let up, but it left us cold. it's somewhere in the forties, i think.

xmas trees smell soooooo good --- even the $20 ones.

i made an aquaintance today, kimberly's assistant, dana. i think her and her boyfriend may join us for half-price cake night at empire next week (if i can afford it.)

2001-12-13T09:07:00.000-06:00

i married my mother.

2001-12-12T07:42:00.000-06:00

i tried to change the template settings, but it doesn't seem to be working.

2001-12-12T07:38:00.000-06:00

it isn't normal that i am awake this early.

last week i met with a local magazine to show them my work. it's one of those free magazines you can pick up at any coffee shop here in houston: health and fitness magazine - a high end tab size rag that has one too many body augmentation ads. so, this early wednesday, i have already shot Navy Seal Physical Training class at memorial park.

it wasn't my first mag of choice, but what 'choice' do you really have when you're out of work, not to mention practice? i had sent them a cold email, directing them to my modest website. i waited, expecting not to hear from them. a week later i got an email back, "yes, we are looking for a photographer..."

at the meeting i discovered it wasn't a paying gig (aside from expenses) but they would trade me for advertising. i didn't care. here was this guy across from me in a bldg off san felipe gleeming over my work and lining up shoots for me as we spoke. i was excited, but nervous. it's simple to shoot for yourself, but immensely hard to shoot for other people, especially those who have a clear image of what they want.

my first shoot (last thursday) was much like this mornings. marine PT and 5:45 am. i couldn't do much more than use an on-camera flash and as bright as the viewfinder is through an n-80, i could hardly see what i was looking at. i met with craig, the head instructor, later at Rice stadium to shoot some daytime shots to be sure we got something good. we also planned for saturday (a story in itself i'll relate later.)

the shot film sat in a ziplock bag all weekend. i had an emotional weekend. i was worried about everything and second guessed nearly everything that i did: was an 1/8th a second too long? should i have used a different film? did i take the dark slide out? every mistake i had made in the past i thought i had made again.

i get that from my mother. she worries incessantly about nothing; at least, nothing that she can control. carol deals with it well, though. she coddles me through those times, which is just one of the reasons that i married her.

i was in court last night for thirty-five minutes (even that seemed like an eternity). i got a ticket for an expired registration and inspection sticker and not having my insurance card with me. i got it taken care of, but i still owe the state of texas $132 if i pay within thirty days.

that's what i spent my yesterday doing driving to the county annex and paying for a new registration sticker (73 bucks) and then off to a fort bend county auto shop to get my inspection. i thought that you could get away from the 25 dollar expense of an emissions test in fort bend, but it turns out, you can't. what used to cost 9 bucks, now cost me $60. shit. state budget crisis my ass.

between that and court i was sent on a shoot at Body Rock of houston: a gym for well kept old ladies with boob jobs and lots of money. they have a new machine they wanted shots of, the "freemotion" (i might be wrong), and some shots of some aerobic poses. this was a challenging shoot, not only because i had to try to keep myself and the lighting out of the mirrors that surrounded us, but because i had to try make each shot NOT look like a gratuitous clevage shot. my god, what chests these ladies had, but i had to admit, they were in good shape.

the most challenging shot was in the spinning room (a room full of stationary bikes) with mirrors behind me and mirrors in front of me. i ended up placing the light about 8 feet to my left and getting directly in front of the girl to block me from sight. i think it worked out ok...

i met the 'reporter' (which usually ends up to be the next door neighbor of the 'client') there. she was pretty quiet and let me do my job; a nice change from the two others that i have delt with, whose sentences usually begin with, "...why don't you...blah, blah, blah,..."

it was the reporter that changed my day, but it was also her that had me on end the entire weekend. when she had first called me last week (on friday) she was enthusiastic about meeting me, "...i've heard so much about you...(huh?)....and i've heard that you do really wonderful work...(pressure building! - expectations....!)..."

they hadn't even gotten the film from the first shoot back. what if the photos sucked?! when she walked into the gym i was setting up the lighing and moving some of the equipment around. she shook my hand and told me that they had gotten the photos back and that they were wonderful, and how they had already chosen several for the mag. i tried not to show my enthusiasm, but it really showed in what i did that day. i felt so confident, like i had just gotten a raise.

it's been raining for nearly 24 hrs and more is expected today. hopefully, the weather people are wrong. they usually are.

2001-12-09T23:19:00.000-06:00

carol and i decided to walk to sherlocks for the (supposedly) free pool. a cold front had moved in on friday evening so i pulled an old sweater over my head and threw on a light jacket. sunday nights leave our neighborhood streets nearly empty, even as close to downtown as we are. houston is a city of sleepers. we walked slowly in the middle of the street holding hands. we are newly married and i hope we never stop holding hands, mostly because my hands lose their chemical smell after holding hers. her clothes and skin are infused with a slight odor of pachouli. she wore it a lot a few years ago, but not so much anymore.

sherlocks was closed for their christmas party, so we walked across the street to the blue door bar, the bar without a name. i remembered this place from high school. the lights are kept so dim in there that we were hardly noticed, even as high schoolers. this is where i had my first illicit beer.

i had gone with a budy of mine from school and his girl. i was the third wheel. often. the top floor is nothing more than a balcony overlooking the bar littered with couches tucked in nooks crannies perfect for making out. this is why we were there, i discoverd, so i could drink and they could make out. there is a room not larger than a small bathroom with dim blue lights and two couches that is arguably available for exactly this. as a high school student i imagined that one could get a blow job in that room and hardly be noticed. as an adult, i'm almost positive of it.

carol and i had a couple of shiners and talked on an old couch close to the stairs. i explained how scared i was of where i was. she told me she was happy. after about 45 min we walked back home and ogled at xmas lights and imagined how we would spend a bag full of money.